Its a rare moment that I do not have a song in my head. And the songs in my head reflect the actions that occur outside of it. Rather than ask me what I'm thinking, a better question would be, "What song is playing?" because maybe then you could listen to it with me and feel the way I feel. And thats the powerful thing about music, its ability to make you feel.
It is a rare moment that I do not have a song in my head, and when that moment occurs, I feel it is the most chaotic. Its even more unsettling when I refuse to find an alternative song to satisfy the craving. The silence. That is what's most unsettling-- the desire to refute the silence but refusing to use the incorrect song. The incorrect feeling.
It is a rare moment that I do not have a song in my head, and when that moment occurs, I can't feel. Because without feeling I can't find music, and without music, I am numb.
Find the song, find the song, I tell myself. And then you will find relief. But I can't find the song, I cannot find relief. Because the reality is, there is no relief for the way I feel. There is no song.
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